He Said It Best...

A list of Sean Corey Carter quotes that basically sum up how I feel about things.

"Your worst fear confirmed. Me and my fam' roll tight like the firm. Gettin' down for life that's right you better learn. Why deal with fire and get burned, we get together like a choir to acquire what we desire."

"You ain't having it? Good. Me neither, let's get together and make this whole world believe us."

As The World Turns

I haven't wrote in quite some time, and a lot has happened.
Let's just keep it short, and I'll update...you...or whoever...

I've fallen for a girl..
She led me on...
She shot me down..
My feelings diminish but they still burn...

I've finished my week of football camp and have showed potential but I surely wasn't a stand out.
I acquired this random injury after a day where I wasn't hardly touched...
I had a Revelation about myself...
All this time I have relied on myself. I am a good solid player at times, but I have exceptional athleticism. I have never been able to use all of my athletic ability, which at this current moment could rival a profession football player. (i assure you)
Yet at times because of my lack of confidence I can not perform.
This "mysterious" injury caused me to reflect and pray. I realized that I CAN NOT be the amazing player that I wish to be without the help of "My Father".

I need the aid of his spirit to empower my instincts, reflexes and confidence. To give me the power to amaze crowds.

In the past I asked not to be gifted, that I would have to work for everything and rely on my own strength. I know now that I won't be what I want to be without my masters help. I pray that YHWH might send me a gift.

Today is the eve of one of the most significant days of my life. Tomorrow I'll be playing and starting in a game that I've waiting to play in a long time, this game will decided a part of my future.

Yes I pray to be empowered... thank you again.

My Life's Work..

Ecclesiates 5:18-20 (NIV)
18.
Then I realized that it is good and proper for a man to eat and drink, and to find satisfaction in his toilsome labor under the sun during the few days of life God has given him--for this is his lot.
19.
Moreover, when God gives any man wealth and possessions, and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work--this is a gift of God.
20.
He seldom reflects on the days of his life, because God keeps him occupied with gladness of heart.

FREEDOM!

That isn't necessary the verse that I read a while ago, it's close though. The exact verse I'm looking is when King Solomon is under depression because he had fallen away from the lord. He has a bunch of rants where he basically says life is pointless and everything is nothing. He says that it is man's lot in life to toil, but it is also mans lot in life to toil away at something they like.

This basically sums up my whole thought process as far as career choice goes. I love sports, I love football. Hence, my ambition.

I can't play football forever though, I'm well aware of this so I have other things I want to do. My main thing is this Company/Charity/Community project/Ministry. The name of the project will be 'Faithstar'. The name and the logo are heavily inspired by...well my faith. I've always loved the legend of King David. His symbol was a star and it eventually became the symbol of Judaism. In admiration of the former King Of Jews, I wanted to make my own symbol inspired by the 'magen David' (Shield of David).

Faith is my strongest (or second strongest) virtue (Forgiveness is probably tied for first with it). There are verses in the bible (in psalms i think) that basically say that if you have faith in the Lord he will renew you and you will have wings like a eagle (I'm sure I'm butchering the verse). So i wanted to put wings on my star, plus it just looks cool. I want it to be a symbol of hope. When we start doing charity and the unfortunate see the Faithstar they know things can get better. I pray that the lord uses my ambitions as if they are his own. Faithstar will be my masterpiece, my life's work. I'll be trying to better the situations of people while working out my own salvation. Storing up my treasures in heaven...

Mundane = A Slow Death

I was conversation with my brother tonight, or should I say this morning..
I'm always thinking of the direction of my life, and right now it isn't so pretty.
I'm pretty comfortable with things so I don't mind sharing my...uh hardships.

Ever since I came back from Louisiana, and failed at obtaining a college football scholarship, my former room became occupied by my mother. Leaving me to the pull out bed in the living room. There is four people living in this small house and it can kind of, mess with your head. My grandparent are truly blessed by the lord, because despite what is at hand we remain financially stable.

During my life I have watched them wake up early and go to work for years. When they don't feel like, when they're sick, when they're hurt or tired they still go. I have a job but it's nothing like their. They are the true 'hustlers' of our world, the 9-5ers. On the grind to keep the bills paid. It's amazing.

It's so amazing, because this 9-5 shit is so deadly. To me it's a completely fruitless life, people work so hard, for so little. Hardly any freedom, they have no ambitions. They don't ever get to feel their heart race in hope of glory. They miss out on so many of the beautiful things in life because they were/are underprivileged or never even attempted to strive for more. They live mundane lives, that rival that of livestock. They work, eat, procreate, defaecate then die. With a few beautiful memories that they just might not remember when they get to be old, that is if their fortunate enough.

I know this might sound like some strange pessimistic rambling, but I'm just concerned about everyone. Please, have good life....

We should all strive for more out of life, but most settle for less.

Before & After

I try to make it a point to hear or read the stories of "Successful" people. (Those who have reached their goals.) I really like to witness their journey, to learn from their life. To try and see their experiences from their point of views. I also like to see what people treated them like before they became "stars". As I sat here thinking of what to write about, I realized the odious. People decide how to treat someone based on their perception of them. This is so obvious yet, you don't realize it sometimes.

I daydream a lot. I daydream about well...my dreams and imagine what my life will be like once I've realized them. Needless to say. once I become what I aspire to be people will treat me different. I am not saying that in the cocky "I'm going to be a big deal one day" way, but people will have a different perception of me therefore they'll treat me differently.

In a interview Tupac Shakur mentioned how his life has changed since he became famous. He claimed that people he grew up with him and known for a long time can't seem to sit still around him. They ask for autographs and mob him just like the average fan. All because their perception of them had changed.

Everyone is equal, and we all live basically the same lives. Modern society tries to make this false hierarchy. Celebrities are put on a pedestal, but we all do it. All because of how we see them.

I laugh to myself, wondering how things will change for me. I know for some of the closest people people to me, nothing will change. I'll still be the over-active kid, that loves Chinese food and anime.

Delusional?

What separates a "dreamer" from someone who is delusional?

I don't know the exact definition of someone who is a "dreamer"
It's usually a word for someone with an ambition, a dream, something they just want to do.
They usually see a way when others don't.

If they see things others don't, wouldn't that make them delusional...
make them crazy, or stupid or something...
If someone is trying to do something and everyone else doesn't see the purpose, the reason
they don't see the shinning outcome at the end, to them that person looks absolutely ridiculous.

There isn't much of a difference.
The only thing that separates a "dreamer" from the delusional is success.
If they can capture what they saw and all the others around them didn't....